Jul
More on women and computers
Well, my broadband came back on this morning – a mystery indeed. Those assholes who told me to try x,y and z and sent me on a wild goose chase checking cables and unscrewing plates were obviously the ones at fault!
Today I want to quickly contend with the “Why women are like computers” issue number 2:
2. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory
for future reference.
Well, for one thing, computers have their memory hardwired. Once it remembers something, you might have to wipe its memory altogether in order to make it forget one simple mistake. Women on the other hand are more forgiving, and although you can’t wipe their memory by using brainwashing techniques (it is probably illegal!), you can employ some subtle strategies to make memories recede to the darkest depths of their unconscious minds… The rewards of having your mistakes forgotten by a woman are far greater than those afforded when a computer forgets your mistake. With a computer, you might get your document back up, or you might get that program working again, great. But when a beautiful girl forgets your mistake and acknowledges something nice you’ve done, well you can imagine the rewards. It depends what level you’ve reached with her. You might get a kiss, you might get a cuddle; she might invitingly usher you into the bedroom or some more risque place for a sexy session of divine forgiveness. If you treat her right, she will remember your behaviour and reward you – all you will get from a computer for good behaviour is that the damn thing will just get slower more gradually until that day when you have to de-frag or rebuild altogether. For sure, women are high maintenance, but then you have a thing of beauty, it is a joy you need to look after. And women are much more pretty than computers. I’ll reiterate – if you find your computer pretty, you need to seek out a psychiatrist immediately (especially if you decorate “her” with stickers or fridge magnets).
Here are some girls I would much rather be remembered by than forgotten:
Cute Lisa
Cute Lisa again!
Wow Wendy
Suki Model and her amazing pigtails!
Nika Model and more cute pigtails!
Emily
Sindy
Now I just looked at some of those beautiful girls, one thing is for sure – I would much rather be playing around with a cute babe’s pigtails than getting all caught up in a bunch of computer cables. A woman’s hair is much softer, smells nicer, and is all round much more fun than a tangle of PC spaghetti…
